Mid years are coming. and I'm not studying hard enough. shit.

but thank God for a wonderful Sunday Night. =)



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1:56.

Live High. =) =)

well. my biological timeclock is wonky.
slept at 5-10pm last night, stayed up till 1 then started doing chem till 2 and thats when I went back to sleep.
and right now, since 2, it's a period of monotonous waiting and hour after hour its just a cycle.

Will you come and claim my sorrows tonight?
Will you be the one that dries my tears tonight?
Will I be loved unconditionally by you?
Will I die with a life not knowing the beauty that is you?
But you're changing.

Cause I'm trying my best to be all that I can
But sadly my mind is totally bent
If the love I gave you could be as countless as the sand
I'ld be the waves which collects them to bring them to you on yet another shore
But time's changing.

Cause tonight with my feet on the floor I feel like I could just fly
Fly away to a place where I can say "Good-Bye,
My dear I loved you so."
but I've been too unworthy my heart is cold.

The light that I see is not aflame like it used to be
How we enjoyed the the times on the beach with the breeze,
I feel abandoned to the core of my heart
decapitated, your words hurt like darts.

I'm a female black widow,
saying I love you yes I do
on the other hand I'll take you as a feast
I'm such a beast
but I'm changing.

Cause tonight with my feet on the floor I feel like I could just fly
Fly away to a place where I can say "Good-Bye,
My dear I loved you so."
but I've been too unworthy my heart is cold.

The light that I see is not aflame like it used to be
How we enjoyed the the times on the beach with the breeze,
I feel abandoned to the core of my heart
decapitated, your words hurt like darts.


I'ld compare you to a camera
You capture the most beautiful moments
and yet blur to the path ahead
keeping only memories focused but the future burnt.
But life's changing

Am I as unworthy as I seem,
no, but yet I am
If I were to say things proving my intelligence dim
I would be the usual man I am,
But untrue these words will be proven.
cause my mind's changing


Changes Changes Changes,
I'll drop my books and run away with you
cause you're all I need,
everything I have but lack
and oh, I tried my best to do what you do
but all I can is to plant a seed
and never water it, writing its future off as black.
but life's changing

Cause tonight with my feet on the floor I feel like I could just fly
Fly away to a place where I can say "Good-Bye,
My dear I loved you so."
but I've been too unworthy my heart is cold.


The light that I see is not aflame like it used to be
How we enjoyed the the times on the beach with the breeze,
I feel abandoned to the core of my heart
decapitated, your words hurt like darts.

I guess I'm a pugnacious individual,
going against change like I'm even near being its equal.
But no matter how hard I try I'll never be able,
I'ld just be going round like a carousel.
and I'm trying

I'm sitting here on higher ground
do you miss me from way down there?
I've been trying to move but still I'm bound
to find someone to fill my heart so bare.
but all's changing

Cause tonight with my feet on the floor I feel like I could just fly
Fly away to a place where I can say "Good-Bye,
My dear I loved you so."
but I've been too unworthy my heart is cold.
My heart is cold
Unworthy and my heart is cold.

-Sam

The chair that I'm sitting on doesn't seem to emit the heat like when you were here with me.
While in the shadows resting on my arms,
the Sun's rays are everywhere except around me.
But hey,
The Sun is present but I'm not ceasing the chance to get into the path of it's rays.
I'm being stubborn yet again and expecting it to come to me.
Stubborn,
A person whom neglects others and goes on with his work although he's wrong.
A person who does not think about his benefits but only about his self image,
and in the end will suffer the most.
What a word... to describe me.
My Soul is ringing,
My Heart is dry but still I'm singing
My Mine is out but still I'm thinking
My Legs are tired but still I'm running
My Eyes are fine but still I'm crying.

So if God has faith in me, Why dont I have the same faith in him?
Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains,
a mustard seed, if it were that easy,
everywhere in the world mountains would be moving already,
Oceans will be parting
Clouds will be falling along with the stars
Trees will be dancing
Dogs will be flying
and I wont be suffering.

I'm TRYING to put my faith in you.
empasis on TRYING.

Stars And Clouds
Contravenes The Dirt And Black Waters.
Rivers and Horizons
but the silhouette of your beauty is the focus of my sight.
Reflections in the aqua blue waves

A black shadow,
Is that me?
Surrounded by a white aura,
is that you?
Am I alone in this,
Or are you with me.

Even the sand on the ground,
the weather
people
and perspectives
are all changing.
but whenever I look into the water to reveal the white aura,
It's appearance stagnant.
Though I may be changing along with the world,
You are ever loving,
Never changing. =)

It's not like I want to live on in this manner without You as my goal,
I will never neglect the awesomeness of your glory.
I will never forget your promises and assurances,
I will never be a creep.

Only in You shall I have Great Fidelity.
And to others like my brothers and sisters, Father and Mother.


Okay. Relationships/friendships, kinda seem to be plunging downwards.
am I never meant to enjoy a long term friendship with a person without change?
all these problems lead back to my problem with changes.
The Most DREADED, ABHORRED, LOATHED, ANTAGONISTIC problem I have with this ever CHANGING world.
things go up then drops. so I wonder. whats the point of it going up anyways?

im sick right now. so. uhh. hehe.
just look at the pics. =D

the headache song. has gotten me to ache for it.
ugh... changes in life.
I freaking hate them.
and why am I experiencing changes every single second in my life. why can't it stay at ONE FREAKING MOMENT?
one happy moment
one joyous occasion.
but yet. I realised. even though I get better.
The next day. Things worsen yet again. Like a Wheel, just that its broken.
going halfway, then going back again.
And please. Give me some freaking space.
I am freaking tired.
I am bloody moody.
and you have to freaking say the same thing to me at least 5 times.
I get the message. I FREAKING GOT IT. DONT KEEP PESTERING ME LIKE A FREAKING WATERFALL INTO A BASIN.

_______________________________________________________________________________



I say I'm ok. But I'm not.
I say I'm happy. But I'm Dying.
I say I'm Alright. But I'm Broken.
I say I'll be better off alone. But Its A Fact that I always need someone beside me.
wth. Lord can't I just survive off myself?
Must I drag others into my already screwed up life.
Must I be a _____ and bring others down with me.
Spoiling other's moods and at the same point bringing myself further down.
Give me an ALTernate way. And I'll TAB myself out.
just to switch my vision to another WINDOW.
Give me an ALTernate choice. And I'll Waste it off by pressing the F4 to superficially end my troubles.
I'll rather be anybody.
than a screwed up me.
Fix me. Cause I'm Rusting in the rain.
Ditch your tools. Cause I'm just a Fool.
yet again... I'm running insane.