So I've come to a final realisation,
that all I desired will never come into fruition.
This double life I lead,
Will definitely not fulfil me.

I've learnt about being dependant,
that all I need to do about it is screw it.
I've studied my feelings of being decadent,
I'm ripping myself to bits.

So you're my kin, you're my best friend,
you're who I adulate, who I confide in at every bend
but wth have you done for me?
Sacrifice that is from me.

I thank all of you for this
It seems I ain't much of a good person
I hate changes in my life, I hate changes, they cause strife.
But I can't be selfish I've got to admit my lost,
You've found a better friend, I should just get lost.
I understand what it's like to be jealous and envious now
before I leave may I just take my last bow?

I admire your attitude, you got over it in a split-second.
W.T.H??
I must be shit, I must be disposable.
"Oh You're Done? Throw Me Off The Table.."

*(School Friends.. heh, thanks bros for keeping me company for this whole month, I really didn't remember anything from my broken heart.
But one thing no one in this world can do, is repair me part by part.)
* You guys Won't be able to read this

Back to my subject
Back to my life
I hope no one reads this
especially . . . . .
but thank God this blog is stagnant, I hardly believe anyone comes to read it,
if they do my cover is burnt, and I'll just have to beat it.

- I'm Missing life the way it was before,
I'm Missing You the way you helped me thaw,
but it's all over now, I can't salvage it now.

I'll be waiting, I'll be.
But you'll be running, away from me. -

So this is my story
the one you are reading
I'm certain you came to find something good
I'm sorry I can't be happy
I can't find any meaning
but I'll find out soon once I dig up some roots.

-Sam^2-

P.S Don't cuddle up to me when you need me, like a vine you strangle me.
Don't toss me after you're done with me, like a line drawn between you and me.

Thanks, another one who left me alone. I just don't want to use the word I loathe using, cause when I start using it, You don't need to read this post anymore, it'll be filled with pain.

Beep Beep Oh Look Now There Goes My Phone
And Once Again Im Just Hoping Its A Text From You

It Aint Right I read your Messages Twice thrice Four Times A Night Its True
Everyday I Patiently Wait
Feeling Like A Fool But I Do Anyway
Nothing Can Feel As Sweet And As Real
As Knowing I Wasn't Waiting In Vain

And Maybe Its True (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
Maybe Theres A Chance That you're
Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong, Its All In My Head
Maybe We're Awaiting Words We Both Hadnt Said

I'm Always Connected Online
Hooked On MySpace All The Time
Hoping You've Checked My Profile

Just can't help wondering why you play it cool but I'm hopelessly falling for you

Every night Im on the phone and I loving you and I know you that you like it girl, now dont keep it inside what's in the night. No come say what your trying to hide.

And Maybe Its True (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
Maybe Thers A Chance That You're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its All,In My Head
Maybe We're Awaiting Words We Both Hadnt Said

Like I really want you, I think I need you, Maybe I miss you, Im thinking of you

And Maybe Its True Oh (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
(Maybe Yeh)Maybe Thers A Chance That You're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong (Maybe yeh)Its All,In My Head (oh no)
Maybe We're Awaiting Words We Both Hadnt Said

And Maybe Its True (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
Maybe there's a chance That You're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its All,In My Head
Maybe We're Awaiting Words We Both Hadnt Said

Its amazing how every line fits, from both these songs.

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart,
I'm missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do,
reminds me of you,
and the clothes you left, that lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok

(I miss you )

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me Yeah...

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And When you're gone
The words I need to hear, will always get me through the day
And make it ok

I miss you...

I'm only hoping that our lives intertwined in a more intimate way,
our time coincided every single day.
But its 27
27 if efforts for thursday don't bring the desirable outcomes to full fruition,
life must still go on no?
well, to be honest, even though you were here, I have no one to lean on, slowly 1-by-1 everyone has been leaving me, from the closest to the least of my closest friends.
everyone has slowly faded from my sight, no one to help me turn wrong into right.
I have nobody that I feel comfortable in confiding anymore, I am not getting responses, expected outcomes.
If only you could read my heart like a crystal, every single flaw, shine, curve, detail. I only try to do unto others what I hope others would do unto me.
But, I understand, I hope I do.
Even I have people whom I don't confide in, people who talk to me but I don't reply them the way I reply those I want to talk to.
And this is my wish, "I pray that I'll be someone you can confide in, believe in, trust in, and I will be the one whom you know you can lean on in times of trouble."

Though when you lean on me, I won't have anyone else to lean on, but its fine.
Me and You, with God above. That's all we need, or shall I say, I need.

If only you could read every weave and braid in the fabrications of my heart
you would understand what I'm feeling and I hope you would act in another way.